Social Media and Prayer: Pursuing God Through Psychological Research
By Emma Pettitt
Social Media as Burden
It was the fall semester of my junior year, and I was completely stressed out. I felt sad, anxious, and distant from God. Despite my desire to talk to God and spend time in His Word, I found the days slipping away as my Bible lay unopened on my bedside table. Instead, I turned to something that most of us have an unhealthy relationship with–social media. I would scroll for hours, feeling unproductive and unsatisfied. Amid this frustrating cycle, I came across a verse that I had read hundreds of times, Matthew 11:28-30, where Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. I was weary and burdened. I had been feeling so guilty because I wasn’t praying or reading my Bible “enough,” but the entire time, Jesus was gentle toward me and humble in heart. And I had been avoiding talking to my loving Savior! I became fascinated with this phenomenon, not just from a faith perspective but also from a psychological perspective. Why is it so hard for us as Christians to make prayer a priority when we know we desire it, and we know Jesus loves us? Why is it so hard to stop wasting time on social media when we know it’s bad for us? These questions became the foundation for my research and what would eventually become a six-week study on social media and prayer.
Beginning the Study
In my preliminary research, I conducted a survey among IWU students that, among other things, asked people what they would change about their time usage. The resounding answer was to spend less time on social media and spend more time in prayer. Research can help to explain why people want to stop using social media. The short answer is that social media has negative effects on well-being, goal attainment, and habit formation. It is also connected to escapism, depression, and the fear of missing out (FOMO). While social media isn’t all bad, most of our relationships with social media desperately need a reset. Research can also help explain why prayer is so helpful. As Christians, we know prayer is how we connect with God, but there is also a wealth of research showing that prayer has positive effects on physical and psychological well-being and that it significantly relieves everyday anxiety and stress.
Impacting Other Students
Overall, I was stunned by the number of students who expressed a desire to quit social media and grow in prayer. They, like me, were stuck in their negative habits and looking for an opportunity to change. To provide that opportunity, I developed a study where participants would replace their negative habit of social media use with a positive habit of prayer. The study spanned six weeks and involved forty-seven participants who all deleted their social media apps and focused on prayer.
Throughout the six weeks, there were many challenges in our attempts to replace social media use with an intentional habit of prayer. One challenge was that, while it wasn’t too difficult to delete social media, it was much more difficult to pray. One participant said, “I found it difficult whenever I wanted to numb myself and was forced to stay in tune with myself and be in the moment.” I think this quote captures the struggle of why we turn to social media instead of talking to God. It’s not just a problem of replacing one thing with another; it’s completely changing how we cope with stress and negative emotions. Instead of “numbing” ourselves with social media, turning to prayer forces us to deal with our emotions directly and work through them with the Lord, which is much more draining than scrolling and avoiding those emotions completely. Also, feeling disconnected was a huge challenge. Social media is a way to connect with pop culture, keep up with long-distance friends or family, or even to know what’s for dinner at Baldwin. For many participants, feeling out of the loop was very difficult.
Student Benefits of Prayer
Despite these challenges, the study proved to have many benefits. Some of the participants’ own words about these benefits are below:
“I had a new sense of clarity. I sleep with a box fan as background noise, and it felt like for the first time in a long time, metaphorically, I turned that box fan off, so there's not that constant hum in the background. The clarity and vibrance it brought to life was really great.”
“I experienced a large decrease in anxiety about being ‘disconnected’.”
“I was able to talk to God in the small moments instead of reaching for my phone.”
“I was able to connect with people more deeply and have more meaningful conversations.”
“My brain switched from having to think about praying to just automatically praying, which I thought was really cool!”
“I was able to be more present in my conversations with God and others.”
“I started talking to God like he was a friend here.”
“I started walking with God instead of walking with my phone.”
Seeing God move in these students’ lives was so encouraging as they took steps of faith to grow in their prayer lives. Even more encouraging is the fact that this research can be applied to anyone’s life.
Tips for Healthier Engagement with Social Media Platforms
If you resonate with my research or struggle with prayer and social media, I encourage you to take the first step. It can be overwhelming to make a big change, but big changes often come from small ones. I have included some tips and places to start below:
1. Incorporate periodic social media fasts or specific times when you block social media on your phone. This could be at times when you know you are likely to get on it for too long, like before bed, or even for longer periods when you feel yourself slipping back into old habits by “resetting.”
2. Keep your phone in your bag while you are walking to class or waiting in lines. This will lessen the temptation to be scrolling mindlessly in the small moments and provide opportunities to pray.
3. Carve out specific times in your day and week just for prayer, whether five minutes or fifty.
4. Put a verse or prayer on your lock screen and change it periodically as a tangible reminder to pray on your phone.
5. Incorporate journaling or intentional reflection on social media use and prayer–daily, if you can. Check in with yourself and with God on how you are currently using your time and how you would like to be using your time.
6. As you dive further into prayer, remember to seek consistency rather than perfection. God is not counting the amount of time you are setting aside to pray, and there is no “right” or “wrong” way to talk to the Lord! He delights in you and is faithful and present!
Conclusion
I told the participants at our final meeting that the end of the study was far from the end of their journeys with both social media and prayer. In fact, the end of the study was just the beginning. Prayer is a lifelong journey. As Christians, we will always be growing in how we talk with God. However, we can rest in the truth that Jesus is gentle and lowly in heart, and that He is kind and gracious toward us as we navigate prayer amid the complex waters of a digital age.
